it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just had sex on a roof
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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