I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize