And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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