Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
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we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
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I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
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