How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize