Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize