i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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