i wish starbucks made bloody marys
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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