I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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