my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
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If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
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My lighter is stuck in my beard.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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