I think i sorta joined a cult last night
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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