What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize