her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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