i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
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It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
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My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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