I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize