I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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