don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize