my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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