I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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