I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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