I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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