Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  She went from zero to smokin in five shots

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  (303): She went from zero to smokin in five shots http://tfl.nu/1faz
  Replies (1) Good night (2058) Bad night (733) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.

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  (716): God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them. http://tfl.nu/wqtw
  Replies (32) Good night (5213) Bad night (992) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.

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  (614): No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog. http://tfl.nu/lwrd
  Replies (11) Good night (5640) Bad night (1058) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?

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  (314): Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me? http://tfl.nu/x7by
  Replies (35) Good night (2309) Bad night (9948) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.

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  (610): He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house. http://tfl.nu/tthj
  Replies (3) Good night (1751) Bad night (699) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.

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  (740): Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward. http://tfl.nu/xwna
  Replies (3) Good night (765) Bad night (1643)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!

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  (+44): This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant! http://tfl.nu/ns2k
  Replies (7) Good night (4263) Bad night (594)
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  (716): View more from New York

  just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night

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  (716): just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night http://tfl.nu/yn86
  Replies (11) Good night (3495) Bad night (1048) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.

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  (518): He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary. http://tfl.nu/x9c1
  Replies (10) Good night (1417) Bad night (652) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.

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  (916): He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head. http://tfl.nu/7dxe
  Replies (12) Good night (552) Bad night (4609) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.

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  (603): playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on. http://tfl.nu/nhak
  Replies (8) Good night (1421) Bad night (542) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.

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  (510): I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA. http://tfl.nu/zpwo
  Replies (5) Good night (1247) Bad night (405) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way

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  (416): Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way http://tfl.nu/xbs0
  Replies (9) Good night (802) Bad night (1293) Order T-Shirt
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?

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  (928): You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect? http://tfl.nu/nafu
  Replies (1) Good night (409) Bad night (1105) Order T-Shirt
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.

  (636): View more from Missouri

  I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.

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  (636): I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB. (636): I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE. http://tfl.nu/x3bf
  Replies (8) Good night (541) Bad night (1742)

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