you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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