i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
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It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
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It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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