I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
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I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
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I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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