yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize