My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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