i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
false alarm, still single
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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