my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
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And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
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You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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