i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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