Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize