Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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