I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize