Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize