if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize