playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize