I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize