I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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