This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
why is half of my head shaved?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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