i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge my taste in strippers
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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