Who wears a wallet chain?!
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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