So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
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I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
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She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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