THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize