So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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