she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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