Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
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oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
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I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
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