She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
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i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
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I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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