We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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