Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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