it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize